What Does Grief Really Do to the Body and Brain?

Most people think grief is just about sadness. Maybe some tears. A heavy heart. A time of mourning. And while all of that is true, it barely scratches the surface. If you’ve lived it, you know: symptoms of grief are a full-body, whole-being experience. It’s not just emotional. It is physical, cognitive, spiritual, and deeply somatic.

When my brother died by suicide, I didn’t just lose him. I lost the world as I knew it. The safety blanket that had always been there was gone. The person who knew me best was no longer on the end of the phone. And what followed was not just heartbreak—it was an entire rewiring of who I was. My body ached. My brain shut down. I couldn't sleep. I couldn’t feel safe anywhere, not even in my own skin.

That’s the truth of grief. It doesn’t stay in your heart. It takes over your system. And if it’s not held, seen, or moved through with care, it can linger for years, showing up as illness, fatigue, anxiety, emotional numbing, or chronic dysregulation. These are all symptoms of grief that extend far beyond sadness.

So let’s talk about what grief really does. To the body. To the brain. And how healing is possible, even when you think you’ll never come back from it.

The Somatic Experience of Grief

Grief is a biological process. It’s not all in your head. In fact, the brain and body are working overtime to help you survive a devastating emotional loss.

In the early days of grief, your nervous system kicks into fight or flight. You might feel restless. You might pace the room or feel the need to run. You might scream or freeze. Or you might dissociate completely. This is your system trying to protect you. The amygdala, the part of your brain that scans for danger, is heightened. You are not just grieving. You are under threat.

That threat might be real—like the trauma of a sudden death—or it might be existential. The loss of someone you love can shatter the sense of safety you didn’t even realise you were living with. The world becomes unfamiliar. Every sound feels louder. Every room feels emptier. Grief and the body are deeply connected—your body holds that.

Muscle tension, tight chest, sore throat, exhaustion, digestive issues, hormonal imbalance—these are all physical effects of grief. Your fascia can lock down. Your breath becomes shallow. You might get sick more often. This is not a weakness. It’s biology.

Grief is not just a feeling. It is a state of being.

What the Brain Does with Grief

Neurologically, symptoms of grief show up as a disruption. Studies show that the brain activity of someone experiencing acute grief mirrors those of someone with physical pain. The anterior cingulate cortex—the region responsible for regulating emotion and processing pain—goes into overdrive.

The prefrontal cortex, which governs logical thought and decision-making, often goes offline. That’s why so many people say they feel “foggy” or “numb” or like they “can’t think straight” when grieving. You are not imagining that. This is literally how grief affects the brain.

Your circadian rhythm might be disturbed, meaning your sleep is fractured. You may experience vivid dreams, flashbacks, or night sweats. Your memory can feel patchy. Your brain is trying to cope with a massive emotional load, and in doing so, starts to conserve energy by shutting down non-essential functions.

This is why people in deep grief often feel like they’ve become a shell of themselves. It’s not just emotional—it’s neurological.

When Grief Turns to Guilt, Fear and Shame

For many of us, especially when we lose someone to suicide, grief isn’t just about loss. It’s about guilt. Survivor’s guilt is one of the most disorienting experiences I’ve ever lived through. The questions swirl endlessly:

Why did I get to stay and they didn’t?

Could I have done something different?

Did I miss a sign?

Did I fail them?

And sometimes it goes even deeper.

You wonder if maybe you are meant to go too. That you were supposed to cross over with them. That staying here feels so unbearably painful, it must be a mistake.

I have walked those roads. I have felt the pull to leave. I have sat in the darkest places imaginable, convinced I would never feel safe again. The world looked grey. My body felt alien. I couldn’t trust anything—including myself.

And underneath the guilt was an ocean of fear. The fear that someone else I love would die too. That grief would come again. That love was a liability.

This isn’t irrational. It’s a trauma response. Your nervous system is trying to avoid more pain by preparing for the worst at all times. You are living in survival mode. And in that state, your brain, your breath, your energy field—everything becomes constricted.

The shame creeps in. The belief that you’re broken. That you’re a burden. That you should be further along by now.

But this is what grief does. It rewrites your relationship with life. With your body. With your sense of identity.

Why Grief Healing Needs the Body, Not Just the Mind

Talk therapy can help. It can hold space for the cognitive processing. But grief is not just a thought—it is an energy. It moves like a wave. It needs somewhere to go.

At JAX Healing Retreat, we see grief not as something to “fix” but as something to meet. To hold. To honour. And most importantly, to move.

Through trauma-informed energy healing, somatic work, and nervous system repair, we help people process grief in the body. Because that’s where it lives.

Kundalini energy activation allows the life force to rise through the body, softening blocked channels, releasing pent-up emotion, and creating space for clarity, rest and renewal. Somatic release helps the nervous system shift out of survival mode. Breathwork restores vitality. Acupuncture, bodywork, and nervous system regulation help integrate the process safely.

People cry. Shake. Laugh. Feel. Return.

Not overnight. Not through bypass. But through embodied connection with what they’ve been holding.

You don’t need to tell the whole story to heal it. You just need to let your body do what it was built to do—feel, express, release, recover.

Reclaiming Life After Loss

I’m not going to lie and say I’m “all healed” now. Grief doesn’t work like that. You don’t just close the chapter. But you do begin to live with it differently.

It’s been years since Jack died, and I still cry sometimes. But I also built a healing centre in his honour. I created a life. I now hold others in their grief and pain—not because I have all the answers, but because I’ve sat in the same darkness.

And something beautiful happens when you let grief move. You start to feel alive again. You start to feel safe in your skin. You start to trust your body, your breath, your intuition. You start to laugh. To love. To hope.

Not because the grief is gone—but because you made space for it to exist without consuming you.

The Path Back to Yourself

If you are grieving right now, please know this: you are not broken. You are human. Your body is doing its best to carry something incredibly heavy.

And you don’t have to carry it alone.

At JAX, we offer healing retreats in Bali, online energy healing sessions, and trauma-informed facilitator trainings for people ready to meet their grief with care, courage and somatic support.

You don’t have to be spiritual. You just need to be open. Because healing doesn’t come from pretending you're okay. It comes from finally letting yourself be held.

The impact of grief may feel overwhelming, but healing is possible. And in time, the symptoms of grief become not just something to endure, but something you can move through, gently, at your own pace.

Ready to begin your healing journey?

✨ Apply for one of our deeply held, trauma-informed healing retreats in Bali
✨ Join us online to begin your emotional growth journey—no passport required
✨ Come to a JAX Day Retreat for a powerful immersion into trauma-informed healing
✨ Join us for a two-hour in-person JAX class and experience the method firsthand